Wondering how to look your best this fall.. check out these latest trends! -Alexa

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I found this list the other day and I thought I would share it on my column. I believe these are 10 steps every man should follow to become a better man, even perhaps an 18/8 man. Not only do incorporating these pieces of advice make you a better person, but they also make you more attractive to women.

Go over the list and see how many of these you’re already doing, and which ones you could improve on.. 

-Alexa

• 1 Know your stuff. A worldly-wise man knows things, lots of things. Read books, talk to interesting people, and debate a wide variety of topics. Keep up to date with current affairs by reading a daily newspaper. It doesn’t take a lot of these kind of actions for others to notice and listen intently as you display your vast knowledge. Also, the ability to read body language is useful, particularly when analyzing the opposite sexes’ impression of you. Be interesting in, and know enough about Art and Philosophy.

• 2 Be independent. Drive a car, and know how to look after yourself. Be financially secure, and own your own place.

• 3 Travel (Before and after University can be particularly helpful for this). See the world, experience things, other cultures. This is a major step in becoming interesting. Immerse yourself in foreign cultures and come back from travels having ‘seen the world’, having done things. You should be able to show people this in many different ways, for example, in a bar, have a sophisticated alcoholic drink that is known as an acquired taste (e.g. Guinness over lager).

• 4 Be fit. An interesting, intelligent person is almost always relatively fit, it shows you care about your health and can look after yourself. Playing a sport helps. Health and fitness also give you a certain energy, and add to your presence with both the ladies and the guys.

• 5 Play an instrument. This is particularly effective, and yet very accessible. The Piano is a particularly good one. Learn different styles and show them off, this makes for a very interesting person.

• 6 Have presence. This can be achieved in a number of ways: have immaculate manners, be charming, and smell good. Know how to dance, and well. A very important step is to have a decent handshake. This is a classic greeting that when done wrongly sets a bad first impression (Limp handshake = limp personality). Be firm, but not too bone-crushingly aggressive. Know how to counter someone who has a dominant handshake (palm down). Another important step is knowing how to order wine in a restaurant. Basically, the top tip is to match the origin country of the food type you are eating with the origin country of the wine (e.g. French wine for French food).

• 7 Be fashionable and stylish. You don’t have to be a ‘fashionista’ for this. Essentials like knowing how to iron a shirt properly, wear a suit properly, tie a bow-tie properly and having a proper pair of shoes will do. Own an expensive watch. You don’t have to spend loads of money on your fashion sense and clothes, but don’t go cheap.

• 8 Be multilingual. If you aren’t already, become multilingual. This has links with travel, and is very effective for becoming interesting and cultured. English and Spanish are a must. Far East languages like Mandarin are also very good.

• 9 Be Exciting. Drive a fast motorbike, play poker properly (Texas Hold’em) and be good at it. Live dangerously, to some degree. Be an amazing dancer, and a great cook.

• 10 Be organized and fulfill your commitments. Keep your agenda well planned and never over commit or make promises that you can’t deliver. A man of word entices respect and admiration from others.

Men want to be appreciated; women want to be adored, but also adorned. It’s that simple. But what does it mean to adore? And, what does it mean to adorn a woman? Adore may be a term most are more familiar with and an easier subject to understand. Adore is the way your eyes light up when you look at her; the things you do to make her feel special; how you listen; how you hold her hand in public because you are proud of her; how you’re willing to change to show your flexibility. You may think these gestures are old fashioned, even corny.  But women still love it, because all we really want  to know is how much you care. What makes us the happiest is when we know you think about us more than yourself and we feel as if you believe that our happiness is your peace of mind.

‘Adorn’…that’s a little more complicated. So what does it mean to adorn that special person in your life? The definition of adorn is ‘making something more beautiful or attractive’. Maybe you interpret adorn as buying her something expensive. However, although women greatly appreciate nice gifts, that will not win or keep her heart. The true meaning of adorn comes from giving something of yourself that she can keep – because it is a piece of you.  And because it was special for you it will be very special for her. It all comes down to the meaning of things and the value it brings. Some things may have no financial value, but it is the story and heritage that makes it priceless.

For example, a few years ago one of my friends received this piggy bank sculpture from her boyfriend. His brother had made it and it was beautifully decorated with puffy paint in small swirls forming a very intricate pattern; so perfect and precise it was hard to believe it was handmade. Clearly an amazing piece of art, the result of many hours of hard work. When she received this gift she couldn’t have been more appreciative, having described it as the most special gift she had ever received from her significant other. She knew how incredibly important the art piece was to her boyfriend and the fact that he had chosen it as a gift for her. The gesture had more meaning and more value than any expensive present she could’ve received.

So back to you, my 18/8 Man.  Do these things.  Never cease to adore her and give her something special from your heart so she feels adorned. 

I promise that you will feel appreciated and you will have a deep and enduring love.

-Alexa

As an interesting and intriguing man I imagine you have a few techniques to impress and attract women. However, if your approach involves buying her a beer and telling her all about your fantasy football team, you may want to reconsider your style. If your ultimate goal is win, continuously impress, and keep the heart of a beautiful and intelligent woman you are going to need MUCH more, you’ll need subtle and useful skills. When I refer to intelligent women I don’t mean a woman with the highest IQ and barely any social skills, but a woman who finds stimulation in an intelligent, even intellectual conversation; who is cultured, confident and has a well considered point of view. A smart woman appreciates a man who can hold a conversation, who’s not afraid to show his culinary skills; one who is humorous, charismatic, and sensitive to her opinions and feelings. Nonetheless, that’s not to say a smart woman is not attracted to good-looking men. Every woman appreciates a man who spends time taking care of himself –and I don’t mean spending an entire day at the spa- but… it may just be that dressing well and learning to master the basic grooming habits can go a long way. In my new column – Ask Alexa, I will be offering you the advice you need to become an 18/8 man, that man who is well-versed and cultured, who knows how to impress and captivate a smart woman, and who wants to be the best that he can be. - Alexa